Hazel, age 54 / San Francisco, CA, USA

portrait_Hazel

Getting older is like, um… Things are happening with my body that I don’t like. You know, my mind is still 25– my mind wants to be 25, my body is not. You know I wanna, like, run around with my 15 year old step son, and I can’t.

For me, getting older with HIV is like, kinda feeling like your body is kinda giving out on ya. And that’s always been a fear of mine – the body giving out. But mentally, I still feel very alert, you know. And I think about old people, and I think, “What kinda old person am I gonna be?”

My partner is also 54 – she’s 6 months older than me, and, she’s not positive, but she deals with other health issues. And so we’re kinda like, “Uh? You know, are we gonna be there for each other?” But I don’t think about who’s gonna take care of me when I get older. I just know that I will be taken care of. I just have this belief that I will be taken care of. And I don’t know if it’s because I always kinda find a way, or if, um, I feel like people have so much compassion, there will be someone there. There’s lots of compassionate people.